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Composition
Composer(s)
Artist
Year Released
Chart Appearance
Artist
Year Released
Chart Appearance
The Beautiful Ones
Prince
June 1984
N/A
September 1997
N/A
Were you one of those hard-headed kids who didn’t listen when mamma told you not to touch the hot stove or when kindergarten teacher Ms. Roodlemaker repeatedly warned you against eating glue? Early Mariah Carey strikes me as that headstrong child who just didn’t know when to quit when it came to her use of old, scratchy records as the foundation of her songs (e.g., she stole The Emotions’ “Best of My Love” for her hit “Emotions” and employed the Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” for the fantastically cheesy “Fantasy” while “Loverboy” was based on Cameo’s “Candy”, a song from the “Glitter” tomfoolery that forespoke of a point in Mariah’s career that proved to be as dark and unappetizing as black licorice). But she didn’t stop there. Her stubbornness also lead to some jaw-droppingly horrible covers like Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds” (1999) and Def Leppard’s “Bringing on the Heartbreak” (2002) among many other stink bombs. This troubling pattern of insisting on covering songs that either simply could not be improved upon (e.g., Journey’s “Open Arms”) or was just a dumb idea from the get-go (e.g., George Michael’s “One More Try”) began once her marriage to Tommy Mottola hit the skids, a time when she had no one in her camp to warn her against running down the street with scissors in her hands.
I was lucky enough to have been introduced to the original version of “The Beautiful Ones” the way it was meant to be experienced: while watching Prince perform it during the “Purple Rain” movie. This wrenching, star-making performance had a towering, elephantine impact on my life, as it pinpoints the exact moment when I gave my life over to Prince. From that moment the camera sets its lens on a Prince sitting at the piano surrounded by smoke and a soft backlight, I was entranced. The greasy Jheri curl resting atop the up-turned collar of his Pirate Shirt received all of my attention. Prince looking directly at the camera once when he defiantly exclaims “I know what I want, yeah” as he pulls the ruffled lapel open to show his right nipple. As his performance begins to boil over to the point of combustion with him shaking, throwing himself onto the floor, so does the music.
“The Beautiful Ones” begins basically with a drum machine and some elementary piano riff that sounds like the clinks of a child playing “Chopsticks”. But as the track goes from verse to bridge and back to verse—I can’t detect a chorus here—the song continuously takes in air and tension, fills up like an agitated puffer fish. Prince asks, “what’s it gonna be, baby?” and before his subject has a chance to respond well, the music breaks and then the little puffer fish explodes into an improvisation that hits like a scud missile. With the scratchiness and intensity of James Brown and Wilson Pickett, Prince finishes out the song with perhaps his most dramatic vocal performance of his studio album career that was animated to perfection in “Purple Rain”. The music retreats as Prince, who had long collapsed on the floor from emotional exhaustion, looks up at the ceiling until the house lights cut off. My still-developing, 12-year-old mind was blown to smithereens by this performance; “The Beautiful Ones” encapsulated all the yearning and rejection whenever I was the victim of the unrequited love of some cute girl or boy (mostly boy) in math or science class. Apart from being an iconic statement in and of itself, this song was everything to me during those kooky and awkward teenage years.
And then there’s Mariah’s version. When the “Butterfly” album hit, I absolutely loved when “Honey” bumped the clubs, and I eventually became a fan of Mariah’s fluttering and ethereal vocals on the other tracks I heard from the album. I initially couldn’t figure out how a so-called power singer—considered at the time as the best singer in pop music, especially as her rise coincided with Whitney’s descent—whispered her way through the “Butterfly” album with the vocal authority of Winnie the Pooh. Once “Honey” left the charts, I dismissed Mariah altogether and never paid attention to her again until recently. A couple years ago, a friend of mine recommended I listen to the entire “Butterfly” album and I did. And I liked it! Until I got to “The Beautiful Ones". What a weak, half-assed, tragic take on a classic jam. (I know someone in Mariah’s circle tried to talk her out of it, but her stubborn ass persisted.) She somehow thought that making the song a duet would justify such a loony decision, so she recruited Dru Hill (well, R&B Twinkie Sisqo, really) to help spread the blame around.
Upon my initial listen, I felt that Sisqo actually brings some Prince-like flavor to the song, while Mariah’s voice is composed mostly of carbon dioxide. (Did Mariah always have such a weak midrange? Here, it sounds all flimsy and gauzy like a hospital gown at the free clinic.). The song is completely devoid of the anticipatory fervor of the original due to the lack of chemistry between the two singers. The two of them together were unable to muster up even a fraction of the sexual tensity Prince generated all by himself. Whereas Prince’s version electrified as it opened up, Mariah’s comes at you like the background music during a French kissing scene on “Glee”. Meh. Though I later came around on the “Butterfly” album as a whole, I continue to (Winnie da) poo-poo on this complete dud of a cover. Rumor has it that Prince, being the Purple Pain he could be, even told Mariah to her face that her version stinks. Tru dat, Prince. Tru dat.
“The Beautiful Ones” Grade Report
Prince & the Revolution
Grade: A+
Mariah Carey featuring Dru Hill
Grade: F-
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